Archive for June, 2014

Tejas

Posted: June 27, 2014 in Uncategorized

John Silbur  in Radical Evil about the Willkür and will leads to my memory of an audience with him in 1969 when he was Dean of Arts and Sciences at UT. Maybe he made it the Athens it was (Ameryca With a Y, Part II) for that decade. He wanted the best teachers. I had been fired as a TA in English for being in Linguistics, which masked the real reasons. Riding a wave of two years in North Carolina teaching at FSC and getting fired, ending up at Texas that fall, enthusiastically with wild assignments and classes, unchecked because there were after all 600 TAs, I took an interpretation of composition underlying everything expansive about the individual, if constraints and restraints were thrown off. At Bishop  one college year, assigned remedial English, I  began to generate a grammar on the board with the students from the way they spoke. The college reassigned me in a few weeks to another class, the difference between reassignment and reprimand being the new letters, Phd, after my name. I expressly said that all human beings are geniuses in the expression of their thought streams. You can see Blake cannot be tolerated and is a threat to every control. If it wasn’t clear who was going to win at Texas you can guess. At that time though I was only on my second firing, had more left, along with further natural disturbances to walk, the workman’s comp against the Clayton Foundation over radioactive zylene, the destruction of the drug garden. It took decades to purge these impulses.

Give credit to our masters though, they know what they’re doing. I never taught again after 1986, but those efforts from the The Balaclava Bakery, the pseudonymous fiction since 2005, along with Histopossum and Opiomes since 2011, were equally well adjusted. As one dissenting student said in an evaluation, “will they let just anybody teach?” Students used to leave me little tokens of their affection and encouragement all the time, cones of incense, notes, cards with phrases like, “keep on truckin.” It makes a big difference not to be bored out of your skull in English class.

These student comments were elicited from Fayetteville students immediately before arriving in Tejas:

–This letter’s sole purpose is to introduce you to one……and to inform you about his ability as an English instructor. Being in the same room with this man for four months has played a greater effect on my whole life than the 14 years of schooling which I have had previously. His wonderful ability to make you think is something only experience can tell. The method he uses is not a “do or else” but of a desire to learn as much as possible in a short time.

–The mere idea of a young man his age having the intellectual abilities which he possesses is almost frightening. his style and his ideas can only be compared to those of an intellectual genius. There isn’t any way to describe this man’s talents in a letter or a book, one would have to come in contact with this man in order to believe that person like this really exists.

–He is a teacher who will make the black student wonder about. He does not speak too highly of his own race, but seems to enjoy working with the blacks. Questions enter the student’s mind which take a long time to answer. I am still puzzled about his concern for the blacks.

–Being a white man in a black school, he shows no sign of prejudice towards the black student.

It is true that he is a white man, but what negro man or woman could you go to and tell him your problems and ask for help? Not one! The negro man will give some smart remarks and try to get fresh, whilr the negro woman doesn’t like you because you look better than she does.

–He is different from other instructors I have had in his grotesque ideas. His ideas are not really grotesque but they seem so different from any other instructors. He wanted to make us think and there is no better way than to look at happenings from a mixed up point of view.

I have retained these attitudes throughout, avoiding the admissions of weariness celebrated by Garrison Keillor and Billy Collins in their interview [31:00f] whose  intellect must have also enturded their life of mind, as Ambrose Gordon says, “Supposedly correcting all these papers which tell me / of sin, and of Melville/ …I turn a blank page / to confront a still blanker mind.” Taking the view that literature is misery Keillor says “almost everyone I know who taught college English wound up exhausted, burnt out, bitter, tired of reading more term papers about Huck Finn. Collins, ambivalent and sardonic says, “That’s me. How did you know? Reading student writing is spiritually bad for you…reading bad writing is not good for your soul…has deeply damaging effects over the years.” It’s as if they have no being, no love in them. Try as I might however, I could not get a job in Phoenix after 1986. An interviewer of Grand Canyon decided I would leave after our residency was up, etc.  But don’t be sad, if you missed out. I did single appearances in each of my children’s schools to rave reviews of the teachers. In this age of crowd wisdom any audacity of thinking and being astonishes more than it did then. I might be pushing double the number of firings.

The one effort Tejas made at governance upon my fellow TA participants and myself disbanded, facetiously blamed upon my wild assignments. Assignments were shared by TAs around a table, but after three meetings Maureen McElroy the thing ended. That was Fall ’68. By Spring ’69 things had progressed well beyond. I held all night evening classes along the Colorado River, began that semester with each member of a traveling trio of actors I was associated with coming in and introducing themselves as the teacher. This went so far that a local radio station in 1970 called the English department for permission to attend one of these classes.

One stormy eight o’clock morning where, while I was reading Blake on thunder and lightning, just at the appearance of those words there was intense thunder and lightning. There were other weather effects too so that one student had called upon the Ultimate Authority, the Radio. We all know what that will lead to. Good teachers get fired. So instead of a reporter the department next day sent the assistant head of Freshman English, a retired Baptist minister, to listen (surreptitiously) outside the door. The theme of the class being psychological games, according to the syllabus, Youth and Identity in Crisis by Erikson etc.,  we had done transactional analysis with Eric Berne and so on. But the night before this class my wife and I had accepted an invite by a fellow grad student and his wife for dinner at their place, which I accepted because the guy had a lion in Phlugerville that I had visited. As the evening progressed they asked if we wanted to play a game. They called it the marriage game. It had a board and dice and places to land. Maybe they made it themselves. Maybe such things are marketed. As the game progressed with little touchie feelie things, gently escalating toward its main intent, they suggested bringing out the hookah, or maybe that too was a board move, which they did and passed around.  As the game progressed I started saying no. Of course my wife was also saying no. You can be sure of one thing, those who want to seduce you do not attract but repel. Saying no went further until they said the game didn’t like us anymore, as if that hurt! After a decent interval we left. Some hours later, I realized the hookah was spiked with meth. That morning in that class I had put this game up on the board, except instead of calling it a marriage game I called it what it was, a fuck game, and was analyzing with the class its techniques of seduction, all to the unseen audience of the assistant chairman outside the door. I had an audience with him myself after that where he told me about the radio station and etc. I didn’t think too much of it until I got the letter from the English Department at the end of the semester saying that since I was in linguistics that was intolerable and I had to be let go. This happened before semester’s end so I got myself evaluated by the students according to due process and took the evaluations to the Dean of Arts and Sciences John Silbur on appeal, since I both wanted and needed a job. He sized me up quick. I didn’t realize then how much I had in common with him, except I was a poet and he a philosopher, but he must have seen it. German Presbyterian educators of the underdog, let us say. I could have deliberated with him about Donald Barnhouse. He did ask about the difference between the two sections.  I replied that every class is different, such a normal response he passed it. The evaluations themselves were so far off the charts that you’d think they were reviewing a standup night club act. Maybe part tent meeting, part…. I’m embarrassed by it now, (see Ameryca With a Y, IV.1) but at that time was compelled. Silbur wrote to Mr. English and said that while it was theirs to decide he wanted the best people on the job. If you knew the Dean and the department, that was an ultimatum which English post haste obeyed and rehired me. I then decided that I didn’t belong in linguistics anyway and transferred to English, which Dr. Lehmann regretted, since he was recruiting me for an NDEA grant. Imagine. In all fairness I was also thought to have been involved in an attempt to unionize the 600 English TAs at that time, which did not happen. The department started its own AGSE and I was elected to its board as co-chair (briefly). So when I think of John Silbur and Willkür and will, his best work, although interested in Architecture of the Absurd obviously, and his 15 million foot build out at Boston U, failing to be elected gov of Mass by a last second interview in which he would not say what his bad points were, his 41 year old son dying at home, his childhood in SA having to fight for respect because of his arm, not being told his aunt died in Auschwitz, or even that his father’s family were Jews, I recognize his full fledged humanity, but, as with us all, it is a vanity of our time to know this when it matters. Only afterward do we know. It didn’t matter, he wasn’t elected governor, but he saved BU. That doesn’t matter either. What matters is that he was a philosopher who ruled his Republic. In the end what lasts is the example.

Aesthetic of Liberation

Posted: June 7, 2014 in Uncategorized

Lesson One of BaalA true aesthetic of liberation seeks the original, not copies of itself. Service to others in whatever form not corporate includes the making human in all suffering.  1) The first value held by the child without our bidding is often compassion and protection for the weak, which  might take the form of not wanting to kill, or the desire to know who and what a person is merely by close observation. These first values are  weeded out by peers, games, programming and the desire to succeed in the Corporation. The second value involves making all the pathways that map  our brain’s walk. Deeper ones transfer like to like so that fifty years of composition in words transfers to clay. The more pathways connected the better. Honesty makes true connection and there is much to be said about walking the paths. My aunt did the Times crossword in her 80s every day.  The third value is the light that shines on these paths by choices of integrity and austerity, in other words, character. Paths are lit or darkened by choices. Someone quits drinking in his twenties against all his past associations, disappointing peers who love Irish whiskey and Guinness. Someone begins reading the Bible before going to sleep every night. The point is that these become marks of character that light the paths. Pretty soon they are redoing all the plumbing in their kitchen, pour a slab by hand in the back yard. Marks of character become so innate as to be beyond expression, such as Christians resting in the provision of Jahve, waiting. It’s going to be important for a person to recontact their values as a child and affirm them.

The shadow replacement of all this is magical thinking, deceiving the fact, which is  the sole purpose of the elite. Why isn’t it possible to deceive the elect?  Because they accept their own death, by very nature. The fact is they shall grow as a tender plant, a root out of dry ground with no form or comliness having no beauty to be desired, as is said of Messiah by Isaiah. It was always so that they were marred in recognition so that we could hardly tell we were human. In other words those  selected for elite grooming have no chance at the agony that can produce the origin of their own execution. If that sounds mutilated, it is.

The process of election is beyond understanding. The young are ruled by the derivative intellects of their teachers and are taught to find value and beauty even in the self affirming works that are themselves shims made to correct imbalance but which wear away, shibboleths of the world, assigned to maintain dominance. Mozart in Thetford, the automaton wives of Stepford replaced by robots, cause the best and brightest to be selected out of the masses by various tests. Graduates of the highest go to the highest bidder, the Ivy League, those buyer and sellers of souls who run the world, meaning the corporations and the secret societies. These are all networked with one another so that it is possible to say the world has structure, just not to know exactly how it operates unless you are captive at the top. Those at its head glad hand the rest with patter designed to make and remake the good over into what they say it is. The masses are taught what to believe. Those who escape this indoctrination  can be allowed since they are neutralized and powerless. Whoever stands against Babylon, this metaphor describes it, makes corporations defensive. To be dismissed by them as erroneous and irrelevant is the best to be hoped. A certain reverence is demanded of their sanctions. They are cut throat while they tell you about their compassion.

To save this from being an entirely negative picture, the corporations have not yet wrangled a way to control the tides or volcanoes, even if earthquakes and rainfall have fallen prey. Not. Corporations have their own prophets, 400 to one. They are the lying spirits of Jeff Bezos. Corporate sponsors tell you to think for yourself while they tell you what to think. They howl out their lights to children to emulate Steve Jobs, Buffet, Gates, those vacancies cut off from the womb that gave them birth. Cannot name one herb, plant or tree, but catch snakes with a hook, the Mojave rattler, Coach Whip, King snake and let them loose at the neighbors. They have digital children who go to digital college and let loose more creatures of foul intent upon the world. Those who climb to the top of this heap are selected for prizes, publications and positions, and they publish much of merit to that heap. Galway Kinnell, James Tate, you can name. Automatons. The others are selected for prison.

“Take heed that no one deceives you” really means let no one deceive himself. – If anyone among you seems wise, let him be a fool. The doctrine of idols is  all power signs and wonders, and with all deception among those who did not receive a love of the truth…who for this reason were sent strong delusion, that they should believe the lie. This is Irenaeus’ Lesson to the  Baal of  power. 

There will come a time when scientific idealists, joined by the Vatican, will say a rescue of civilization from space is imminent. To realize the hopes of Europe, the good of mankind, division will subsume into those who accept the alien and those who don’t. Religion and science will go back and forth like charges Russian hacked the election. Governments in the lead, the Vatican prepping madly for the event, amid dark hints of lost inner life and existential risk, indisputable archeological, astronomical, scientific evidence will prove the exonauts have been here all along. Welcome to Antarctica. Orson Scott Card calls them Buggers, so perhaps we should defer. Stephen Hawking worries about it. His fear takes the older form that in spite of the good of mankind aliens will raid us for our goods, that outer space capitalists are like the Spanish and the English, will plunder earth the way Europe pillaged South America. Hawking fears big ships from depleted solar systems will steal our gold, not our gonads, billions of which nonetheless have been spent over years. Even if Hawking’s ancestors were not felled like Indians by smallpox, and even if the most famous living scientific star fears Contact, Hawking accepts the probable alien premise. He just thinks the nephilim are unreconstructed social democrats! That’s bad. To adopt a benign view of the Bugger, biologists revised their view of survival of the fittest. Now they say Darwin never meant survival to sound like a zero sum game, that social cooperation was always the pattern of prehistoric man. It is as unthinkable to science that aliens do not exist as it is that the Lord of Heaven and Earth does. Be ready therefore for this undocumented messiah. Papers are being prepared by the Vatican. The existence and goodness of these exogenous saviors is the purpose of such industry.

“Gloria enim Dei vivens homo.” “For the glory of God is a living man; and the life of man consists in beholding God.” 

For the glory of God is a living man; and the life of man consists in beholding God.” Therefore the Son of the Father declares [Him] from the beginning, inasmuch as He was with the Father from the beginning, who did also show to the human race prophetic visions, and diversities of gifts, and His own ministrations, and the glory of the Father, in regular order and connection, at the fitting time for the benefit [of mankind]. For where there is a regular succession, there is also fixedness; and where fixedness, there suitability to the period; and where suitability, there also utility. And for this reason did the Word become the dispenser of the paternal grace for the benefit of men, for whom He made such great dispensations, revealing God indeed to men, but presenting man to God, and preserving at the same time the invisibility of the Father, lest man should at any time become a despiser of God, and that he should always possess something towards which he might advance; but, on the other hand, revealing God to men through many dispensations, lest man, falling away from God altogether, should cease to exist. For the glory of God is a living man; and the life of man consists in beholding God. For if the manifestation of God which is made by means of the creation, affords life to all living in the earth, much more does that revelation of the Father which comes through the Word, give life to those who see God.

Photos-15You can say of  Yeshua Messiah that he was made a little lower than the angels, however he was also in the beginning and without him was not anything made that was made. A man is the highest created being in the universe. What is man that thou art mindful of him? You can say Lucifer was the highest created being, but the covering cherub surrendered his position for the sake of himself, went after his own thoughts whose end is among the shells of the qliphoth, the end of death, from which there is no rescue as there is for the highest created being. You cannot even say angels are the highest created beings, even though they are more powerful in apparent dimensions, for of which of the angels did he say, thou art my son, meaning that where ever men turn, Yeshua Messiah precedes them. Those men made in the image of Yahweh take on the nature of the son, which is not to despise angels but not to worship them.

You cannot say the highest created being in the universe is the universe. Well you can say it, but you become an idolater. You cannot say that the highest created being in the universe should be amended tPhotos-17-1o the highest creaPhotos22-3ted being in the earth, for remember, creating heaven with a touch, his fingers, he gave to man dominion of his hands. Everywhere you turn Yeshua Messiah makes Man the highest created being in the universe, and dignifies earth as much as Yeshua taking the form of a man dignifies a man. Sarah called him lord. Earth is his home, so important it is to be remade to suit him in his true state, this both at the end of Isaiah and Revelation, and everywhere between. The man remade inhabits the earth remade. The superficial evolved states of the biome are going to be redone.

Man is the highest created being in the universe.

Earth is the jewel, the masterpiece of all the worlds.*

There is a negative proof mentioned in all the attempts to neuter a man by science. Astronomy, mythology, every agency of civilization seeks to enthrone the demonic skulls. These forces have had their day. Approaching full flow they are to be dry as the Red Sea before they are engulfed. It is important to them to prevent the man from realizing he is the highest created being in the universe. A man’s enemies reveal a lot about him. Natively, it sounds wrong to say man is created highest because that title should be reserved for Jesus. But Jesus, blessed, is not created. Jesus, blessed, was the same in the beginning with Yahweh.  Putting him in the place of man also promotes the man. According to his enemy, not the man but the universe is the highest creation and is creation itself.  More negation from the demonic skulls and their surrogates.

Man is a sculpture event. He is being fashioned as a man as we live. And what does that say about woman? How do you think he gets here!

These sayings require a hearer. The first was said to Aeyrie after his two week tour of mid country, yesterday. When I heard it I was shocked. The corollary was said to his mother this morning in bed.

Not Victim, Not Oppressor

Posted: June 3, 2014 in Uncategorized

I heard someone say that you must forgive those who hurt you. Forgive yes, but hurt, no.  I don’t seem to acknowledge hurt. Enemies of different kinds yes. Take a table in the midst of them. So this leads to victim hood. My three formal occasions were my three burglars when the city sent me a victim rights statement. Since all three were caught and did time I felt like it was more of a warfare they lost. When I addressed the judge in the court at the occasion of the third he turned to the victim burglar and said, see, that’s what  people will say about you.

There is also a victim soul. One who offers up pain for the blessing of another. Rather a higher sort. At Horizons Unlimited in Austin one time a guy bought this book, paid for it and gave it to me.

As to oppressor I quote from Encouragements at Ameryca: Contradiction:

I absorbed a lot of these antagonisms outside the U.S. in 1963, in Costa Rica. Specifically and generally got the feeling from Nicaraguans that America backed the Somozas, from Panamanians that canal was a worst insult, from San Blas Indians that I was the one to be feared. When the repute of a nation is visited upon its citizens later captured and tortured by Taliban it makes the citizen know the apple pie. Not to speak of what the Bolivians, or those from Spanish Harlem had to say. Oddly, to me, I was larger in size that all of them, not six feet, but better dressed, with two! suitcoats, “Andres, tu tienes mucho sacko!” Puerto Ricians were the most virulent against the Exceptional, yet at the same time the national oppositions that visited these privileges could not be denied. As I learned to spread the wealth a little people saw more the heart. Still in the world today, which I know from having taught scores of Jordanians, Kenyans, Nigerians at Bishop, and Israelis, Koreans at Texas – would you believe I taught there Technical Writing for Foreign Students at least twice because they heard I had taught blacks in the American south – Is that profiling or at Bishop College where the utmost moral authority came about 1982, give or take a year, when Maya Angelou and another poet spoke in the auditorium at Bishop College where we held faculty meetings and Dr. Lassiter would stand on stage and rub his belly as he spoke our responsibilities. I was happily at the back. Maya Angelou was no less outspoken as anytime and had a lot to say about the male white made class of oppressors of women and blacks. The only one represented that day to feel her arraignment, felix culpa, me, did not disagree in the slightest with anything she said, but bore it then as much as  20 years before what Latin American students thought of their American oppressors. I have no doubt that her moral suasion and authority of life came from that time when she was raped at seven and after telling her uncle and the man was put to death, she did not speak for five years. She did not speak from the power of her words, so that when she did, it was with this great authority. I did not stay for the Q & A. Hearing her frank obsequies today at her passing, I ask anybody to understand the discomfort of representing the enemy.